When You Just need a
Negotiations between union members and
their employer were at an impasse. The
union denied that their workers were
flagrantly abusing their contract's
One morning at the bargaining table, the
company's chief negotiator held aloft the
morning edition of the newspaper,
"This man," he announced,
"called in sick yesterday!"
There on the sports page, was a photo of
the supposedly ill employee, who had just
won a local golf tournament with an
The silence in the room was broken by a
"Wow," he said. "Just
think of what kind of score he could have
had if he hadn't been sick!"
The Tomato Family
The Tomato family is walking down the
street. There's the mama tomato, the papa
tomato and baby tomato.
They're walking at a good pace when the
baby starts lagging behind. Papa tomato
starts getting mad. By the third block
papa is so furious that he runs back and
with his fist, squashes baby tomato.
He smiles and says, ''Ketchup!'''
Asking The Boss For
A Day Off
Smith goes to see his supervisor in the
front office. "Boss," he says,
"we're doing some heavy
house-cleaning at home tomorrow, and my
wife needs me to help with the attic and
the garage, moving and hauling
"We're short-handed, Smith" the
boss replies. "I can't give you the
"Thanks, boss," says Smith
"I knew I could count on you!"